Who the hell's hallucination am I in?

Some alley cats are born with enough swagger and coolness to knock up every stray feline on the block. For this notorious cool cat, paw-therhood was becoming too big of a burden after getting with all of the local kitties. But despite being on the hook for child support checks for every female kitty within a 2-mile radius, this cat wanted the enduring love and affections of a real family. Lucky for this saucy stray, a kind couple took note to his plight, capturing him and fostering him into a new future… One with far fewer kittens, but a lot more love. 

Well, feline fam, just when you think you've seen it all, the internet surprises you with something new. We literally spend hours each day scouring the interwebz for the silliest, craziest, funniest, and most bizarre feline stories to share with you, but we have never seen something like this before. We've written many stories about cats ending relationships, or troublesome felines disliking their pawrent's partner, but we've never seen a boyfriend take such dramatic action over the matter itself. He literally took matters into his own hands.

His girlfriend's cat was marking his territory constantly all over his stuff. To be fair, it was an older, male cat, so these types do have the tendency to warm up slower to men. However, he lost three backpacks and a pair of shoes, so he decided that enough was enough. Fast forward to now, and the cat is in love with him. His girlfriend even complains that he now feels like "his cat". Scroll down to read the full story below!

Hooman's stories about how they met their fluffy soulmates are all unique and special. Every story is different from the other, whether it is by where they found the cute cat, what they did to help, and how the feisty feline reacted to the rescue. The cat distribution system works in mysterious ways, but it also makes sure that every time a catto is distributed, it is different from the rest.

To be able to help an awwdorable cat right from your backyard is a great privilege, if you ask us. Sure, it might be special to be chosen by the CDS when you're out and about, but being so special that you get a purrsonal delivery right to your doorstep? Now, that is a story worth telling, that will stay in the family for generations. 

We still appreciate all the hard work that goes into rescuing a fluffy feline, even if you're doing it in your own backyard, which is why we love the story of the hooman down below.

Hey, cat parents! We've all experienced that cold wave of panic that hits the moment you realize your cat is nowhere to be found. That's exactly what happened to one cat parent who launched a full-blown search operation at 7 a.m., complete with flailing arms, panicked whispers, and rustling treat bags. After twenty agonizing minutes of searching under beds, inside closets, and behind every curtain in the house, the culprit was finally found — casually snoozing in a shadowy corner, looking like he just clocked out from a long shift in the imaginary cat mines.

Unbothered. Unmoved. Unaware that he had sent his humans into emotional distress. This majestic little troublemaker didn't even flinch when they found him. It's moments like these that define cat ownership: we panic, they nap.

Stop pretending you're normal, we don't do that around here. And, honestly, you don't have to. We're like a big support group for crazy cat ladies around here, and we're 100% proud of that fact. We're not ashamed to admit and support our crazy cat lady-ness, because that's what makes the I Can Has Cheezburger community special - so why should we ever be ashamed of that? Unclear.

Now that you know you can be the crazy cat lady you've always wanted to be around us without fear of judgment, we need to talk. This is a serious matter. You don't have enough weird cat memes in your life, and we're going to fix that today. We gathered some cat memes that might appear as casual cat comedy for the untrained eye, but you and us, we both know they're some weird memes full of feline frenzy. Full of the cat crazy. So, what are you waiting for? Scroll down for your daily dose of weird cat memes, just as you need.

Kittens have meowgical powers. No one can resist their cuteness. That is what we have learned over our time writing for ICanHasCheezburger. They can make anyone do anything that they want. We've seen dads who hate cats fall in love with the family's new kitten, because they couldn't not. We have seen people who never wanted cats in their lives adopt a kitten because it didn't give them any choice in the matter. We have even seen cat owners adopt a kitten for their black cat who just lost her babies, and that kitten filled a hole in her heart purrfectly. 

So, it is no surprise that when these owners adopted an adorable ginger kitten for their senior dog, that dog, who was lonely and sad and tired all the time beforehand, suddenly found a new source of energy to use to play with it. No surprise at all, especially when the kitten is as cute as this ginger. We would not have been able to resist his cuteness either, doggo, so we really understand you. 

Cat pawrents, tell us, did your cat do something special lately? Has your cat created a new and exciting way to do a thing? And the most impawrtant thing - would you go and report this to other cat pawrents on the internet? Because that's what so many other cat pawrents do, and let us tell you - it's meowgnificent.

First of all, it's that great because any cat pawrent can relate to the experiences of other cat pawrents who go through similar things with their cats. Second of all, since it's bite-sized content, you can consume it very easily, even with your cat on your lap. And lastly, you would probably tweet these things about your cat as well.

So now that we're in agreement about these essential things, we can continue with what we've all been waiting for - the funniest cat tweets you'll see in the upcoming days. They're short, they're funny, they're relatable - just like real cats are! Scroll down and feel the full support of the online feline family of cat pawrents.

Every cat deserves a chance. That is something that we stand by here at ICHC. And that very much includes cats and big cats whose lives have gone… a little differently than others. Not everyone gets lucky in life. Some big cats face some difficulties right away, but that doesn't mean that they don't deserve to live as good a life as they can live. And that is where we step in - to try to give them that life. 

Thankfully, there really are some incredibly good people out there. We have seen so many instances of people helping big cats in need. Like this injured bobcat who became the best foster momma to a whole bunch of other kittens thanks to the humans who adopted it. Or this this rescued black panther who became best friends with a Rottweiler that his humans paired him up with. Or this injured bobcat who couldn't be released into the wild who found out that fennel is the best toy ever and got an endless amount of it from the humans taking care of him. 

They all deserved a chance, and they all got it. The same way that today bobcat, Benji, did. It's always fun to see an oldie but goodie story get some renewed traction online, and we can see why this one hit again. It's incredibly wholesome.